


Friction

by pepperminteabag



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2018-12-24 19:40:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12019632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepperminteabag/pseuds/pepperminteabag
Summary: U(ish). Relena, a preventer agent is sent on mandatory leave after the death of a colleague. With no choice, she heads to her favorite vacation spot for some much needed r&r. Noone told her she would be neighbours with the very handsome, very intriguing Trowa Barton





	1. The Thrill of the Hunt

Relena stuffed her hands into the pockets of her pink down coat, head slightly bowed to the cold, as she trudged through the snow. It was cold in the Alps but not bone chilling which meant her coat, denim jeans and boots offered her more than adequate insulation.  
Eyes down cast, she followed the small footprints of the creature she was tracking. The snow created perfect moulds of their feet, her two large footprints versus the four small ones of the animal ahead.  
Coordinating a sneak attack was pointless, even with the lightest of steps the snow crunched under her weight, the heaviness of her boots not aiding in her attempt at stealth. Despite the noise being made under her feet the animal still hadn’t stirred or made any attempt to escape, so engrossed was it in whatever it had found hidden in the snow. Relena’s blue eyes twinkled at the realization that she was about to capture her white whale. With every step, she paused, waited, before making another, trying her best not to spook or alert the animal.  
She was focused, her eyes trained on the animal, so much so that she didn’t see the small twig in her path. That was all it took. Small round brown eyes turned to meet her and in that second the two just stared at each other. It was a game of cat and mouse and Relena knew that at any minute her prey was going to take off, she just needed to be quicker if that was at all possible. She pulled her hands from her pockets and prepared to pounce. She inhaled deeply, a puff of smoke forming as she exhaled, then she launched herself forward, arms spread eagle to grab any of the four limbs that she might make contact with.  
Her fingertips brushed against long fur but ultimately it slipped right through them before her face landed in the snow. Above her head, a bark of triumph rang out in the stillness of the mountain. Relena sat up wiping snow from her face with her hands and getting a little help from a wet nose and tongue. The hunter had become the hunted as the golden retriever launched itself into her lap.  
When the attack was over she was left covered in snow and fur, her cheeks sore from the smile she had yet to tame. She hugged her friend tight, smoothing its coat as it relaxed into her embrace. This was the life, a calm and serene environment and woman’s best friend. Getting back to her feet, Relena gave the dog, Millie, another pat on the head when a soft rustle behind her caught her attention. The part of the trail she used wasn’t known for having any large or vicious wild life, she never would have let Millie off leash if it was, so she wasn’t terribly frightened by the noise but she was cautious. She turned her head just enough to see behind her, not wanting to move too much lest she startle whatever it was.  
“I didn’t mean to startle you.”  
It definitely wasn’t wildlife. The voice was soothing and calm, almost as serene as the landscape itself. Relena sighed inwardly and her shoulders relaxed as she released the tension she had created. The first thing that caught her as she turned to face the voice was the twinkle of a green eye which seemed to pop against the auburn bang that fell just next to it. It was sometimes disappointing to put a face to a voice, some voices should remain faceless to allow the imagination to fill in the blanks. This was not one of those occasions. His voice matched his face perfectly. He was the epitome of calm.  
Relena shook her head to stop her thoughts from holding her hostage. “You didn’t startle me.” She attempted to lie, but the way his mouth tipped upward she knew he wasn’t buying it but to her relief, he didn’t press. Instead, he walked toward her, his eyes locked onto her intently and she wondered if this was what it felt like to be stalked. Standing inches from her he held her gaze for a full second before he crouched down and scratched the dog’s ears with both hands.  
Relena released the breath she was holding and couldn’t help but feel slightly silly for misreading his advance.  
“What’s his name?”  
She watched as the stranger massaged the dog’s neck and head. “Millie.”  
In a silent plea for her to elaborate he tilted his head to the side giving her a brief view of both his emerald eyes. She was staring and she knew it and she was sure he did too. He was handsome, he had to know. When his eyebrows rose she realised she had missed her cue in the conversation. She did a quick replay of the conversation in her mind until she was up to speed. She couldn’t help but grin, baring all her teeth in the process. “I named him after my brother.” And she delighted in calling the dog by its name whenever said brother was around.  
He returned his attention to the dog, nodding his head slowly as if trying to decide if the name fit. Then he stood giving Relena a side long glance and a crooked smile. “Don’t you want to know my name?”  
Relena wasn’t sure what it was about him but she was strangely at ease in this stranger’s presence. His quiet confidence and expressive features and his not so obvious but still present sense of humour not to mention how nice he was to look at. “I was hoping you would volunteer instead of making me ask.”  
“Maybe I’m not feeling generous.”  
“How about reciprocal?” She held out her hand. “I’m Relena.”  
He took her hand, his visible brow arched, clearly appreciating her counter. “Trowa.”  
“Nice to meet you Trowa.”  
“I should get going.” He said as he released her hand. He took a few strides before he stopped and looked at her over his shoulder, his eyes darting between her and the dog. “Maybe you should try for easier game.”  
Relena was torn between being amused and embarrassed, he had obviously witnessed her futile attempts at dog knapping. Embarrassment was not going to be denied though and it fought and won against any other feeling causing her to drop her gaze and giggle nervously. “Right.”  
When she looked up again he was still looking at her and she had to resist the urge to fidget under his scrutiny. She was about to ask him what was wrong, when he dipped his head to her and left, her mouth slightly agape with the unasked question.  
Relena ran a hand through her hair as she awakened from the trance he had left her in. Trowa. She rolled his name around in her head then chided herself for her adolescent reaction. At her side Millie looked up at her, his head slanted as though he was trying to figure out what was wrong with her.  
Relena folded her arms and stared at her four-legged companion. “What?”  
The dog slanted his head in the opposite direction, regarding her.  
“Just because I named you after my brother doesn’t mean you have to act like him.” She bent down and gave the dog a quick ruffle before she started back toward the house, dog in tow. She made a mental note to walk these trails more often.


	2. The Neighbour

“Drop the gun!”  
“Don’t hurt him, no one needs to get hurt.”   
Her chest hurt, her throat closed tight. “No!”

Relena clutched her chest, the sudden jolt from her sleep left her feeling slightly dizzy. She rested her forehead on her knees as she sat up in bed. Her chest heaved slowly as she exhaled several shaky breaths. The sheet pushed down to her waist, her body was partially exposed to the night air, the chill made worse by the sheen of sweat covering her body. She sat back against the bed frame and turned on the bed side lamp hoping it would provide a bit of warmth to her. Every night it was the same. The same words, the same result, never before or after, just then.   
Relena slid under the duvet, eyes dead set on the ceiling above. It wasn’t her fault, she could hear the words, the voices and see the faces of everyone who had said those words to her. Her brother, her mother, dad, Lady Une, the other agents on the scene the list was never ending. If only their words were enough to make her feel better, to soothe her subconscious into giving her at least three consecutive nights of decent sleep. Lately, she was lucky if she got even one night without a visual reminder, one reason why she out here. She was cranky, angry and “difficult to work with.” It was a last ditch attempt at placing her on leave in her opinion, every other agent was sleep deprived it was part of the job. But not every agent had to bury their partner, their friend.   
Relena pressed her fingers into her eyes to stem the flow of tears that were threatening to spill. “I’m sorry Kelly.” Even though it was just a whisper Relena hoped that somewhere, somehow she would hear her.  
________________________________________  
How many cups of coffee does it take to cure a sleepless night? Relena frowned at the brown liquid in front of her, it was nine am and this was her fourth cup and she was no closer to discovering the magic number. Relena plopped her head onto the table wincing slightly at the contact. She was on vacation with nothing to do. There was no reason why she couldn’t just go back to bed except the fact that she was afraid to close her eyes. She was out here to heal and this was not the way she was going to do it. She had to try harder, she owed it to herself and her family who had all sworn she was unrecognizable to them.   
With renewed determination Relena forced herself from the table, the chair screeched against the tiles as it was pushed backward without warning. She changed out of her pajamas and into a pair of black leggings and grey sweater and headed for the front porch. Maybe she was weird but she enjoyed the bite of the cold while she exercised. Something her brother thought was stupid since it was much easier to catch a cramp but what did he know.   
Outside the air was fresh, light and crisp not bogged down with city impurities. Relena stretched her hands above her head and began her thirty-minute routine as laid out on her phone app. With one hand on her hip and the other stretched over her head she leaned to her far left. Her head shifted slightly to the right as movement in that direction caught her eye. She watched with minimal interest as her neighbor locked the door to their cabin. When he turned from the door her head did a double take. Auburn hair and green eyes were looking at her…...and waving but by the time her brain had decoded the action he was already at the base of her steps.   
“Morning.” He said.   
Relena straightened her posture tugging a little too hard at the bottom of her sweat shirt, an action she quickly halted. “Hi.” She gestured to the house next door. “I didn’t know we were neighbours.”   
He had taken one step, one leg bent on the next step up, his elbow propped against the wood rail. “Neither did I.”  
Relena didn’t have anything to say, not because she didn’t want to but because she was socially inept- her therapist’s words not hers. So there she stood playing with the hem of her shirt while he stared at her with the hint of a smirk on his face. At that moment she wished she had a slushy then at-least she could have a valid excuse for her brain freeze.   
A bark and a tail whizzed by her, she was nose deep in self-pity when Millie came to her rescue. He bounced down the steps and wrapped around Trowa’s feet. She would have been jealous if she wasn’t so thankful for the interruption. She didn’t know much about him but one thing she could tell was that he liked animals, at-least dogs. And if Millie was anything to go by they liked him too. IN the middle of his conversation with the dog he looked up to her so she knew she wasn’t forgotten or maybe it was to let her know her dog was better with people than she was she wasn’t sure.   
“Long night?”   
He was talking to her again though she wasn’t sure about what. “What?”  
Even as he looked at her his hands still caressed the dog. “Your light was on all night.”  
Relena shifted her feet and pushed her hair behind her ear despite not being displaced “Yeah.” This was not a topic she wanted to share with a stranger no matter how handsome or attentive he was. “You too?”  
His brow furrowed so she continued.   
“Well, you would’ve had to have been awake to know that my light was on all night right?”  
He smiled at her. “It was the gentlemanly thing to do.”  
Her eyes narrowed. “Chivalrous, but what if I had turned out to be a man.”  
“Then this conversation wouldn’t have been happening and I would’ve had no need to mention it.”  
This one was sharp, she liked that. There were few things more entertaining than a quick wit.   
He stopped his interaction with Millie and tapped the rail lightly with this hand. “I’ll let you get back to your morning, at-least now I know where to go if I ever need a cup of sugar.”  
Lewd, lewd, lewd. Relena had to bite the inside of her lip to prevent the lewd thoughts from escaping but there was nothing she could do to stop her skin from inflaming. “Anytime.”  
She watched as he left only moving after he had disappeared in the distance. She sat on the floor and beckoned Millie into her arms. “It’s a dark day when your dog carries a conversation better than you do.”


	3. Dog Food for the Soul

It had been three days since she'd last seen him, three days since she'd realized they were neighbours. On more than one occasion she had caught herself looking through the windows on the right side of the house to see if anyone was home next door until she decided it was pathetic and had closed all the blinds on that side. She was a preventer agent, a cop, she didn't turn into a pathetic mound of hormones over strange men. And Karen, her therapist, had agreed more or less. Even though she was on holiday, miles away from her home in Brussels, Relena still had to keep up with her appointments as part of her evaluation. At first, the idea of seeing a therapist had been unnerving. For too long she had been one of those who believed only people with mental illness needed to see a psychiatrist. After her second session she had completely changed her mind not because she had been cured instantly but because of the insight Karen had been able to offer, not only about the incident but her life in general. Relena felt like she understood herself more, her habits and hang-ups, things that maybe should've been obvious but weren't.   
By three pm Relena was restless and idle. The idea of spending time alone huddled under thick blankets with a crackling fire and a glass of wine seemed the answer to all her problems. And it had been the first few nights but the lure had worn off. Not being up here in years, she had forgotten just how quiet and lonely it could be without an annoying brother and doting parents for company.   
Sitting at the bay window of her upstairs suite Relena inhaled the rich scent of chocolate from the cup nuzzled right under her nose while one of her feet dangled to rub the top of Millie's head. She was dressed for bed despite the hour having not showered or changed since her alarm blared at five that morning.   
Outside, a light sprinkle of white dusted the trees and rooftops of neighboring chalets, which weren't many. Her house was on a small hill just south of the more populated town. It always reminded her of the inside of a snow globe almost unrealistic in its beauty.   
Her eyes landed on the house nearest hers. It was smaller, cozy with a wraparound deck accessed by French doors. In comparison to the three story monster her parents had built. They worked hard and enjoyed spending every dime of it. She couldn't blame them, she had benefitted immensely from their spending habits and still did to this day. She doubted though if she'd have felt this alone in a house like that, of course with the company she'd have……  
Relena took a sip of her hot chocolate, that thought needed to stop, and it did just not entirely. She found herself scanning the windows and doors for signs of life within, quickly dismissing the idea of binoculars when she saw none. She was already on leave; she'd never make it back to active duty if they thought she'd lost it completely. But then she had another idea, maybe she could dump all her sugar and use his suggestion against him.   
Relena grunted in disgust, tapping the back of her head against the wood behind her. There was something wrong with her, she never had these kinds of thoughts for anyone. Ever. She'd been accused of being in the closet one too many times due to her lack of interest in the opposite sex and here she was contemplating voyeurism and concocting schemes. She definitely needed therapy but she’d need someone more skilled than Karen for this particular problem.   
Relena pushed her feet into her nearby bedroom slippers and padded over to her bed. She grabbed the phone where it spent most of its time on the dresser and dialed her favorite shrink.  
The phone rang only once before a mildly annoyed but happy voice answered. “It’s about time you called.”   
Relena rolled her eyes. “It hasn’t been that long.”  
“How are you?”   
Relena could hear Hilde struggle to keep her tone light but the dip in her voice betrayed her and she knew just what she was asking. “Pretty good.”  
Hilde scoffed. “Liar.”  
A second of silence elapsed before Hilde asked her what's up.   
“Nothing just missed you that's all.”   
Relena could almost hear the eye roll on the other end of the line.   
“Of course you did. Now, what's wrong.”  
“Nothing's wrong unless you count having a cute neighbor a problem.”   
Relena laughed as she listened to Hilde ooh and ahh at the information. She'd known Hilde for nearly ten years, after she had transferred to her school. She was a new kid in a new country, her parents having moved to Belgium from Germany for her father's job. They hadn't hit it off at first but after being forced to share a room together on a school trip abroad they had become fast friends. And that bond only continued to grow over the years, they even shared an apartment in Brussels together. There was nothing quite like living with your best friend.  
Hilde continued her rave, she was asking questions and answering them herself before Relena could get a word in. Finally, she took a breath. “Tell me everything.”   
After an hour of talking Relena couldn't decide if the conversation with Hilde was any help. Instead of being the voice of reason to talk her out of anything stupid Hilde had instead blatantly encouraged it. The words get laid were used more than she dared to count. Still, it was a fun way to spend the afternoon and it provided a much-needed distraction from- everything.  
________________________________________  
Relena grumbled and swore as she hurriedly dressed herself to brave the cold. How she had forgotten that she had run out of dog food the day before was beyond her and remembering only when she had pulled out the bowl to feed the poor dog was even worse. Going out after six wasn’t the worst thing in the world but it would be considerably colder which she counted as her punishment for being a bad mom. Pulling on a pair of jeans and her favorite pink coat with a matching color beanie, she rushed out the door. Luckily there was a convenience store in the heart of the town. It would mean a small trek from her cabin since it was slightly on the outskirts but not more than thirty minutes there and back.  
The town was a typical alpine village. Most of everything was wooden in the typical chalet style even the convenience store which if you weren’t aware of what it was would look like someone’s cottage. There were a few people standing around engaged in friendly conversation in the street and around town. Whether tourist or resident everyone was swept up in the warm small town atmosphere and it was hard to tell who was who since they all got on so well. Relena waved and nodded as she walked through the village. Her family was well known in the town; in her younger years, it had been somewhat of a tradition for them to visit at-least once a year.   
________________________________________  
With a large bag of kibble in hand Relena headed for the checkout line, resisting the urge to skim the store for junk food, not only could it take a while since it took her five minutes to make a decision on each item but she had brought more than enough with her when she arrived.   
Relena tapped her foot idly as she waited for the person ahead of her to pay for their items. Patience was a virtue and she didn’t want to be rude especially since it was a little old lady, who was currently picking through her coin purse for the exact change. She examined each coin as though she was seeing it for the first time and was unsure of its value. Relena sighed deeply as she watched the woman turn the coins over, once then twice before she placed them on the counter, grateful when the frail fingers seemed to finally grasp the last coin needed to pay for her items. The old lady then turned and thanked everyone for their patience and apologized for being a slow poke. Relena could tell by the looks on the faces of the cashier and others around they all felt as guilty as she did for ever getting upset by the sweetheart.   
As the woman walked away from the counter Relena put her bag of food down and greeted the middle-aged woman working the cash register. She was round and robust with black hair knotted in a bun at her nape. Being a popular tourist destination most workers would ask the usual ‘how is your stay or how are you enjoying the weather’, and this was no different. Relena answered each question with a smile and waited for her to finally ring up the order. Having been quoted the total Relena fished around in her pockets for the cash. In her jeans, in her coat, in every pocket or hole she could find in her clothes. She found mints, lint, keys but no money. She slapped her forehead in frustration, in her haste to get here she had obviously and embarrassingly forgotten to bring the cash.   
Relena looked up at the lady behind the counter, who to her credit had the most sympathetic expression on her face. She was about to apologise and leave the store, dreading the walk home and back but before she had the chance a hand placed the money on the counter in front of her followed by a soft “Let me.”  
Relena followed the hand until she reached the face it belonged to……… of course he’d be present for her humiliation. Trowa stood behind her in a black t shirt and jeans and she had to wonder how she hadn’t noticed him in a store this size. She smiled at the offer but waved her hand in protest. “That’s not necessary really.”   
“I insist, it’s the neighborly thing to do.”  
Relena felt conflicted, she really wasn’t in the mood to travel back and forth for the money but she was averse to taking gifts from strangers, especially strange men, and men in general.   
He must have sensed her hesitation because he threw her a lifeline. “You can always pay me back later, I do know where you live, unless you’re leaving tonight.”  
Relena shook her head no then looked to the cashier, who was now beaming from ear to ear, to give her the go ahead. After she bagged the dog food, Relena waited outside until Trowa finished his purchase. As soon as he stepped out she thanked him again for his kindness which he quickly shrugged off as nothing but offered an alternative. “You could always invite me for dinner.”  
“I would but I don’t think Millie would want to share.”  
________________________________________  
They walked in silence for a bit but it wasn’t the awkward kind, if there was ever such a thing as pleasant silence this was it. Relena was content just to have the company for the walk home when out of nowhere Hilde’s voice started to haunt her. She must have said something out loud because Trowa was now looking at her and asking if everything was alright.   
“What brings you out here?” She asked in an attempt to alter the course of the conversation.  
“Same thing that brought you I suppose.”  
Relena brows shot up. “And what is that.”  
“An escape.” He looked at her as he said spoke.   
Relena didn’t know how to respond, she wasn’t prepared for his answer to be that accurate. “What makes you say that?”  
“You came alone and you hardly ever leave the house, that’s not exactly the behaviour of someone here to explore. Seems you’re just here to get away.”  
Relena eyed him as he spoke his face was set in a somber expression almost as though he was reflecting on his own reasons even though he was talking about her. Made her wonder what he was trying to escape from. “I’m trying to decide if to be jealous of your observation skills or be worried that you’re some kind of psycho.”   
Trowa chuckled but remained silent.   
“You’re not a serial killer are you?” She asked.  
Their eyes connected briefly before he looked up to the sky as if in deep thought. “Haven’t killed anyone lately.” Relena stopped dead in her tracks to gape at him which earned her a wink and a smile. “Kidding.”  
Shaking herself out of her stupor she walked quickly to catch up with him and when she reached his side he started to speak again. “Besides if I was going to kill someone it wouldn’t be you.”  
“Why?”  
“Who would take care of your dog?”  
The words coupled with the most innocent look on his face as if thoroughly concerned about the dog should anything happen to her made Relena erupt in laughter. “I guess we know who’s going to win humanitarian of the year.”  
“I try.”  
________________________________________  
It came as an absolute shock to Relena when she saw her house appear in front of her, it seemed like barely two minutes since they left the store. She stopped at the front steps and turned to face him ready to thank him again for his help but the look on his face gave her pause. She thought for a minute, then it dawned on her. She told him to wait there and she bounded up the stairs and into the house. She ran back down the stairs just as quickly then extended her hand to him. “Here’s your money back, thanks again.”  
Trowa looked at her outstretched hand then looked at her, but made no move to claim the money. She waited for a while before finally retracting her hand. “Something wrong?”  
“I’m waiting for my invitation.”   
She didn’t know why she thought he was joking when he had suggested it earlier but clearly he hadn’t been. She was dumbfounded. All she could do was stand and stare at him unsure what her response should be even though she knew what she wanted it to be. As a preventer she was always hyper vigilant, it never turned off even when she was off duty. It had become a part of who she was in everyday life and the thought of letting a stranger into her home went against her professional judgment.  
“I apologise, that was presumptuous of me it’s ok if you don’t --“  
She should have just let him finish, he was giving her an out but before she could register the words leaving her mouth she was stopping him mid-sentence. “No, I do. Um…it’s just—.” Being cautious was only one of the issues she had with inviting him for dinner, the other was a bit more personal and slightly embarrassing. Relena hung her head as she tried to think of the best way to answer when she looked up again Trowa had a knowing smile on his face and she could tell that he had figured out her secret.  
“You can’t cook.”  
Relena looked down at her feet and shook her head slowly. “They don’t even trust me to garnish a salad I’m that bad.” She winced at her confession and couldn’t help but look to see how he had received the information. He was smiling but barely and she appreciated the effort he was making not to laugh at her.  
Once the humour of the situation wore off, she watched as he became serious again. “I was going to offer to cook for you but I’ve decided teaching you is a better use of my skills. He turned in the direction of his house. “Class starts at eight, don’t be late.”


	4. Chicken Parmesan

As part of her privileged upbringing, Relena was no stranger to social functions and soirees and usually, she had no problem finding the perfect outfit or if need be going on a quick shopping trip to find it. Neither of those options was available to her this evening. She had searched high and low, drawers and suitcases but the fact remained she hadn’t planned on going on a date when she packed for this trip. She had packed for comfort and hermitism. She had a vast array of PJs and big baggy comfortable clothing, all of which seemed slightly inappropriate for dinner with a cute neighbour.  
Time was running out and she knew she would be forced to just pick something and go with it. Which was exactly what she did when she stepped onto Trowa’s porch at ten to the hour in a faded gray jean, white t-shirt, purple cardigan and tan knee high boots.  
She mentally encouraged herself to breathe while she waited for him to answer the bell. She had no reason to be this nervous, technically it wasn’t a date. Was it? How she wished she had brought Millie, this didn’t seem like a situation she should go into without backup. Relena rocked back onto her heels and debated going back for her furry wingman when the door swung open.   
“Come in.” Trowa stepped back from the door and Relena got an eyeful of his appearance, white button down shirt with its collar resting on top a black sweater, and black trousers. She had to resist the urge to look down at herself self-consciously. Maybe he dressed like that to read not because she was coming, no biggie.   
Relena muttered a quick thank you and smiled as soon as she stepped inside inching as close as possible to the door frame to avoid any accidental touches. The interior was just as she had imagined, it seemed to glow and emit warmth. The first thing that caught her attention was a beautifully crafted wooden chandelier dangling in the center of the living area. Underneath, large dark chocolate sofas arranged in front of a wood burning fireplace which was nestled beneath a large wooden mantle. To the right of the living area a small dining set with seating for two, but Relena could tell by the space around the table that chairs had been removed. The wall of French doors provided the perfect backdrop of the natural landscape.  
Relena flushed as she met Trowa’s eyes beside her, realising that he had stood and watched as she took in the décor.   
“Follow me.” Trowa indicated with his head as he walked toward a door at the back of the room. He pushed opened the swinging door and stood in front of it, holding it open with his body for her to walk through.   
The kitchen was a room all its own. Gone was the brown and wood. It was metal and shiny even the island. There was nothing rustic about it, she might as well be back in the city.  
Relena watched as Trowa walked over to a chair, recognizing it as one removed from the dining area, and picked up a white apron. He returned to where she was standing and held the loop slightly above her. She bowed her head slightly, holding her breath as Trowa stepped closer to her to place it around her neck but despite the lack of breathing the scent of his cologne still wafted through her nostrils. Her eyes, which up until that point she hadn’t realised were closed, opened when she heard him go around behind her to tie the back. His hands brushed lightly against her sides as he reached for the straps dangling from the apron.   
The tingle she had felt when his hands brushed against her had been mild, nowhere near the intensity of the charge she felt when he rested his hands on her shoulders and spun her around to take in her appearance. “Now you’re ready to cook.”  
She nodded at his statement and followed him to the island.   
Laid out before her was everything she assumed was necessary for what he had planned. There were glass bowls filled with onion, red and green pepper, three types of grated cheese, salt and pepper, tomatoes and several different herbs. She nodded instinctively as he pointed to each detailing what was inside. Then he waved his hands over several plastic bottles of spices. In the middle a large tray of chicken breast and a box of pasta.  
It was just a meal but Relena was learning a lot about Trowa as she watched and listened as he went about explaining to her the purpose of everything on display and the process each would go through to create the perfect chicken parmesan. The most obvious being that he enjoyed cooking, he spoke with the confidence of someone at home in the kitchen, he was passionate. He was also meticulous, there was a place for everything and everything was in its place with him. Everything was measured down to the last ounce and she was tempted to label him a little obsessive compulsive but that wouldn’t have been fair. He was a man that enjoyed the art of cooking and with every word spoken she was scared of ruining his perfectly laid plans. No doubt a man this in love with cooking must hate a woman only capable of boiling water.   
Relena jumped when his hand touched her shoulder. “Don’t look so nervous, you’re going to be fine.”  
More of that observation skill. She was relieved by his words but annoyed that she had obviously been telegraphing her fears.   
“Here, drink this.”   
Relena looked up to see Trowa holding a half full wine glass in one hand and a bottle of red wine in the other.   
“Thank you.”   
She might not want to admit it but this was probably just what she needed. “Do you match your wine with your food as well?”  
Trowa looked utterly perplexed and it was the cutest thing she’d ever seen. “Who doesn’t?”  
________________________________________  
Relena stood over the stove with a pair of metal tongs poised and ready. She had checked the fillets twice already but she was not prepared to let the meat burn. She took another sip of wine taking her eyes off of the chicken on the stove to watch Trowa hard at work. The tomatoes he had diced earlier was, in his opinion, not enough so he was diligently slicing and dicing a few more and his technique was a sight to behold.   
“Where did you learn how to cook?”   
His response was not automatic and Relena waited patiently for his surgical precision to cease. Only when the knife came to a halt did his answer follow.  
“My sister.”  
“Wow. That’s nice.” Relena didn’t know why but that answer had been surprising.  
Trowa’s look of concentration melted away as his face broke out into a heartwarming grin. “Not really.”  
“Why?”  
“Her motives weren’t exactly pure.”  
“In what way?”  
Trowa emptied the tomatoes into the saucepan with the onions and sweet pepper and gave it a quick stir. “Given the situation I’m not sure I want to tell you.”  
“Now I really want to know.”  
“Ok, she swore it was the easiest way to win over a woman. Something about women loving a man who knew how to cook?”   
The gleam in his eyes spoke volumes and Relena could tell he was assessing her reaction to his words.   
“I guess that’s true. Has it worked?”  
“Still to be determined.”  
________________________________________  
Trowa was a charmer, and she added it to the things she had learned about him this evening along with his love for cooking and the fact he had a sister. He was definitely a smooth talker, and she had too many references this evening of her body being unable to cope with the way he spoke to women. Women, because she absolutely refused to believe it was reserved just for her.   
The meal was coming together nicely and despite not having to do much Relena was still proud of her accomplishments. The chicken was a beautiful brown colour and she had also managed to cook the pasta without incident.  
The only thing left to do was sprinkle the cheese over the chicken and sauce and bake and Trowa had stepped aside to allow her to do the honours.  
“And that’s it.”  
Relena smiled. “Wasn’t as excruciating as I thought it would be.”  
“Never is.”  
Trowa placed the dish into the oven and set the timer on the counter then tipped his glass to her. The rims of the glasses collided with a clink before they each took a sip.   
“Think you could do it on your own?” Trowa spoke after a moment’s silence.  
Relena leaned against the kitchen island. “Sprinkle cheese? Absolutely.”  
Trowa shook his head and smiled. “Dinner’s on you next time.”  
Relena rested her glass on the counter and faced Trowa with mock defiance. “You assume there will be a next time.”  
He mimicked her stance unabashedly. “I do.”  
What was there to say? He seemed so sure and it was attractive instead of the annoyance she usually felt with arrogant men. But Trowa wasn’t arrogant, he just was endearing.   
________________________________________  
While the chicken finished baking, Relena helped Trowa set the table. Sometime during the evening he had started a fire and lit a candle in the center of the dining table. The lights had been dimmed and what couldn’t be dimmed had been turned off.   
Relena took in the ambiance, the natural light which flickered and cast shadows around the room. It would have been so easy to be swept up in the setting, the romanticism and it was taking all her will power not to do just that.   
She was standing behind a dining chair, her hand gripping the ornate wooden back when she heard Trowa enter.   
He set down the dish he had been carrying, the aroma of baked bread filling the room. Apparently, her help was no longer needed because he pulled out her chair and pushed it in as she sat then disappeared back into the kitchen.   
After several trips to and fro Trowa finally settled into the chair opposite her. On the table, chicken parmesan and pasta, a basket of garlic bread, two glasses of red wine and a platter of grilled vegetables.  
Trowa held her gaze before smiling politely. “Bon appetit.”  
________________________________________  
Dinner was wonderful, the taste and the company. Relena couldn’t remember spending such an enjoyable evening with a man that wasn’t her brother in ages. And for whatever reason her brain had tried to conjure a memory several times that night to no avail.   
Even though they had both finished eating they remained at the dining table. Bouts of witty repartee were spaced out between periods of silence with nothing but the crackle of the wood to be heard between them but at no time had it been uncomfortable.   
“Trowa?”  
Relena realised that up until this moment she had spent the entire night with him only having his first name.  
He raised a brow at her questioning tone.   
“Mr. Trowa -”  
“Barton.” He sat back in his chair swirling his glass reflexively. His angled head told her it was her turn.   
Relena thought for a minute. Whenever she met anyone new she was torn between supplying her work name or her home name. At work, she went by Dorlian while at home she was a Peacecraft. Each had a story and a purpose. Truthfully she would give any prospective suitor her work name, inadvertently providing them with her occupation in the event they did any research into who she was, but recently she had changed that tactic. She wanted people to get to know her before they realised she was a gun carrying cop, people that held her interest that is. Otherwise, she’d wave her badge around like a repellent.   
She looked at Trowa and made her choice. “Peacecraft.”   
Relena pursed her lips as she thought about what to say next. “Are you and your sister close?”  
“She’s like a second skin.”  
Relena could definitely understand the sentiment. “I know the feeling.”  
“Sister?”  
She shook her head no. “Brother.”  
“Overprotective?”  
“Humiliatingly so.” Relena cringed at the memories of the stunts he’d pulled during her teenage years. Her brother had been the stereotypical jock, the head honcho and any boy who dared disappoint her got a visit from whatever team her brother was playing on that week. Which meant no one wanted to talk to her, since no one wanted to risk it.   
“Guess I better mind my P's and Q's.” Trowa interrupted her stroll down memory lane.  
“I’d like to think he’s outgrown that.”  
“Trust me, they don’t.”  
________________________________________  
“Did you sleep with him?”  
Relena knew it was a mistake to call Hilde but she couldn’t help it, this was the kind of information you shared with your best friend.  
“No I didn’t.” Relena cradled the phone between her ear and shoulder while she buttered her toast for breakfast.  
“Then what did you do?”  
“We talked and he showed me how to prepare chicken parmesan.”  
Hilde groaned into the receiver. “Relena, we talked about this it’s time you start living a little.”  
Relena looked to the heavens, by living a little Hilde meant having sex, alot. “You live enough for the both of us Hil.”  
“Was there a fire?”   
The question seemed out of place but Relena answered nonetheless. “Yes.”  
“Wine?”  
“Yes?”  
Through the receiver, Relena heard what sounded like a cup hitting the counter before Hilde spoke again. “So let me get this straight, he invited you to dinner, which he cooked himself and you ate in front of a warm fire while drinking wine, and the only thing that was passed between the two of you was salt and pepper.”  
Put that way Relena was starting to see Hilde’s point and she had no retort.  
“Sure he isn’t gay?” Hilde asked.  
“He’s not gay.”  
“Whatever. Your brother called for you…. again. Mind telling me why you’ve been ignoring him.”  
“I haven’t, I’ll call him as soon as I’m done with you.”  
“Oh, we’re done here. I’ve got nothing more to say to you.”  
Relena smiled into her coffee. “Fine. Bye.”  
________________________________________  
Truthfully she had been slightly avoiding her brother. It was a little ungrateful on her part but she grew tired of the concerned looks and questions. Her brother and parents treated her like she was going to break at any second which wasn’t helping her to move forward. Still, she was glad to have people around her that cared so much, something that a lot of people only dreamt of.   
After she’d finished eating and clearing away the dishes Relena soaked in her tub, did some cleaning, a little dusting, read Millie’s favorite book until she realised she was stalling and further realised she had run out of things to do. She ended her stall tactics and dialed her brother’s number, who just like Hilde, jumped right into the conversation.   
“You’ve been avoiding me.”  
“Have not.” She hated sounding like a whiny child but Milliardo had a way of bringing out the adolescent in her.  
“How are you doing?”  
“I’m fine, this is just what the doctor ordered.”   
“We’re worried about you.”   
And by ‘we’ he was referring to their parents. “Don’t be, everything’s fine.”   
When nothing else came from the other end of the line Relena pushed the conversation forward. “Did you want something, heard you called Hilde.”  
“You spoke with her? More proof that you’ve been avoiding me.”  
Relena didn’t bother to respond to that, her brother had a way of knowing things, especially about her.   
“Was thinking about coming out to spend a few days with you.”   
“What? Why? I told you I’m fine.”  
“You can keep saying that but I know better. Besides I’m sure you can use the company all alone out there.”  
“I’m not….” Relena bit her tongue just in time to stop the last words, unfortunately, she knew she had already said too much.   
“You’re not alone?”  
“I brought Millie with me remember.” There was a pause and she knew he was deciding whether or not to believe her. As her brother he was perceptive but he was also a lawyer which is one reason why she made it a point never to lie to him. That and they were as close as a brother and sister could be.  
“Right.” He drawled. “I don’t think the dog would mind.”   
Relena smiled. He always referred to Millie as ‘the dog, refusing to use its proper name.   
“I’ll be there in two days if everything goes to plan. Unless there’s another reason you don’t want me up there.”  
And there it was. She knew she wouldn’t have been able to escape that easily but she had hoped. If she said no he’d come but if she said yes, he was most definitely going to come. It was a lose-lose situation for her. She and her brother had a great relationship he wore his bestie hat with pride, it was when he wore his big brother hat that he was a pain and it usually came out when there were men involved so there was no way she was going to mention her neighbor. Besides they weren’t anything but neighbours.   
“No, no reason. Millie and I will be glad to have you.”   
________________________________________


	5. 99 problems and a brother

True to his word Milliardo had arrived two days after their conversation. It had been close to midnight when she'd heard the key turn in the lock. They'd embraced, shared a quick word about his travels as he settled into his room before they both turned in.   
It was a nice surprise when she'd awoken the next morning to the scent of coffee and cinnamon rolls. When she rolled over in bed she was almost salivating, hoping and praying that he’d slathered them with extra icing.   
And he had. It was one of their favorites to eat as children and they refused to break tradition as adults.  
“Aren't you glad I came?” Milliardo asked as he slathered more icing onto his own roll.  
Relena smiled through her bite, her cheeks protruded with chunks of gooey bread. She couldn't form the words around the mouthful of food so she just nodded. She took a mouthful of juice to help the bread on its journey and watched as her brother plated some eggs onto his plate. In contrast to his silvery white hair, the apron around his neck was black as was the T-shirt underneath and jeans. Her brother avoided white like the plague, something about the color not doing justice to his hair.   
Relena rolled her eyes at the thought, he was such a girl.   
Relena placed a hand over her glass just as Milliardo was going to refill it and had to insist on not eating any more cinnamon rolls. Between her brother and Trowa she’d soon need to go on a diet. The thought sent her back to the night she and Trowa had dinner and she had to raise her glass to her mouth to mask the smile that engulfed her face. A smile that came whenever she dared to even think the name Trowa.   
“Care to share?”  
Relena had almost forgotten he was in the room.  
“Just thinking, I'm surprised you got time off. Leaving Lu for two days must’ve been hard.”   
Relena watched as her brother’s facial features moved from that of curiosity to bashful. Lu or Lucrezia was his legal secretary and girlfriend though he wasn’t ready to admit it at least not to anyone who wasn't her. Mostly because, she assumed, that he hated the cliché.   
He didn’t answer he just gave her a look between bites and ignored the question. “Have you been keeping up with therapy?”  
“Yes dad.”  
“Stop.”  
“You stop, I'm fine.”  
“Say it until it's true.”  
“I plan to.”  
They ate in silence for a while before Milliardo restarted the conversation.   
“Who’s in the house next door?”  
“What? what do you mean?” This was not the conversation she wanted to have with him, not yet.  
“I mean, I've never seen that house occupied, it's usually empty. But last night there were lights on.”  
“Oh.” Relena had to call upon the quick thinking and analytical skills she employed at work. She didn’t want to lie but she didn’t want to tell the truth. It was pathetic. Twenty-five years old and she was having to lie and sneak around like a child.  
Drinking her juice Relena tried to appear nonchalant. She casually rolled her hand in a dismissive gesture. “A man. Saw him a few times while walking Millie.”  
“Young or old?”  
Interrogation techniques. Preventers had them but so did lawyers. Unfortunately, she was better at delivering those techniques against potential suspects than she was at avoiding them from her brother.   
“Didn’t ask him his age.”  
“Uh huh, so you spoke?”  
Her grave was taking shape with every word.  
“Briefly.”  
“What did you talk about briefly.”  
“Your namesake.”  
“Where is he now?”  
Relena’s bangs parted as she huffed in frustration. “How would I know?”   
If her brother noticed it he didn’t let on. He enjoyed teasing her far too much. “You don't know where your dog is?”  
“No, not exactly, somewhere in the house.”  
________________________________________  
Having Milliardo come for a visit had been nice but not as nice as it was to push him out the door for the last time. He'd managed to subtly, but not so much, work the “young neighbor” into almost every conversation and it had taken everything in her not to cave. She was sure if she had to endure any more of his interrogation she'd crack. When she wasn't fending off indirect questions she was doing her best to keep her brother as far away from the neighbors as possible. Which also meant keeping herself away as well. Luckily Trowa seemed to be as much of a recluse and she was, so there hadn't been any close calls or awkward meetings.  
But after the night they’d spent cooking and talking Relena felt anxious to be in his presence again. He was so easy to talk to and be around, just altogether good company, unfortunately, she wasn’t sure how to engage him. She didn’t want to appear over eager but by now she didn’t feel like she needed a ruse. She wanted to talk to him, to see him and the feeling she was experiencing was eerily similar to that of missing someone special.   
The feeling caught her off guard. It wasn’t possible that she was missing him. She hardly knew him. Relena dropped the jacket from her hand and took off her boots. Whatever it was that was drawing her to him was sure to wear off but not if she fed it. So instead of going over there as she had intended she fell into the couch and turned on the television.   
It should have been a welcomed distraction, but as if to taunt her, every channel was showing a romantic comedy. The feels.   
So she returned to plan A and retrieved the previously discarded jacket and boots and headed out the door. It must have been fate or just really good timing because as she got to the bottom of the stairs she spotted Trowa walking towards her.   
She tried to reign in her reaction to him when she realised her smile was a little too wide and her voice a little too high pitched when she greeted him. His response, on the other hand, was much more controlled.  
“How have you been?” Relena tried not to let it affect her but for some reason, his clipped tone stung.  
“Been good, how are you?”  
“Good.”  
Trowa made to walk by her. “I’m on my way into town, so I’ll-.”  
“Mind if I tag along?”  
He shrugged and this time it did affect her. If she was smart she’d change her mind and go back home but she wanted to know what was bothering him. She wanted to help.   
So rather than doing the wise thing, she fell into step beside him. “What keeps you so busy? I swear you disappear into that house for days.”  
“Something we’re both good at.”  
Relena wasn’t sure what he meant. True, she’d spent almost every day in her home since she’d arrived but something about the way he said it left her uneasy. His general demeanor was off. She looked over at him unsure of how to respond and after a moment of silence he rescued the situation.  
“I did a little traveling, hit the slopes and the skating rink.”  
Both of which were a good hour drive from their location.   
“Sounds fun.”  
He nodded. “Are you sure you should be tagging along with me?”  
“I don’t mind unless you don’t want my company?” She meant that completely as a joke and was convinced he would see it the same but when he didn’t laugh or so much as smile, she was worried.  
“Thought you had a guest.”  
Relena’s eyes widened for a fraction of a second as she assessed the situation. She didn’t mention to Trowa that her brother was visiting but it seemed he had seen him, which was a surprise since she hadn’t seen Trowa for the two days her brother had been with her. But they were neighbours, he didn’t have to leave the house to see what was happening next door.   
Even more shocking still was the idea that Trowa was jealous. She didn’t want to overestimate their relationship or her value to him but something was amiss and his last statement seemed to be directly related to it, at-least in her opinion. She was baffled by it, that he could be jealous he didn’t seem the type let alone be jealous of seeing her with someone, but something deep inside was also warmed by it. If, it was what she thought it was. She had to keep reminding herself that there was a possibility she was wrong.   
“Yeah, he left. Couldn’t wait to get rid of him actually, you know how annoying older siblings can get.” Relena tried to offer an explanation as casually as she could to avoid any awkwardness that might arise.   
It didn’t help.   
Silence stretched between them and unlike the other times this one was definitely awkward. Relena couldn’t stand it. “Why are you going into town?”  
“You’re sweet.”  
Relena turned eyes to Trowa. “What do you mean?”  
“I’m going to town because I didn’t want to be in the house next door while you were entertaining. All things considered, I guess I’m going into town for no reason.”  
Relena’s mouth moved to speak but nothing came out. What could she say to something like that? His honesty was bar none which was another thing he definitely had going for him. She had to wonder if that was also why he went out skiing but she didn’t have it in her to ask.  
“What makes him so annoying?”  
Relena breathed deep and welcomed the changed of conversation. “He’s my brother, he doesn’t need a reason. That and he’s a lawyer and I swear he uses me to test out his interrogation techniques.”  
“Interesting career choice, what kind of law?”  
“Corporate. Growing up I thought my dad made a lot of money,” She gave him a look. “He’s a lawyer too, criminal. Until my brother started practicing and I realised where the money really was.”  
“Wow, two lawyers, that must have been something growing up.”  
“Worse, my mother is one too, family law.”  
Relena laughed at the face Trowa made, it was something between a look of horror and awe.  
“You didn’t feel like joining the family business.”  
“No, I did go to law school but being a lawyer wasn’t for me.”  
“What was?”  
“I wanted to be a preventer.”  
“Ah, cream of the crop. What happened?”  
His question was innocent enough but it still took Relena to places she’d rather not go. “Still working on it. What about you? What do you do?”  
“Mergers and acquisitions.”  
“My brother would love you.”  
“Is that a requirement?”  
Relena realised charming Trowa had returned. “No.”  
________________________________________  
Relena and Trowa walked around the small town, going in and out of stores just for the fun of it. She found herself staring at him more than once and she hoped that he didn’t notice. This thing she felt was different and it was getting stronger the more time they spent together. At one time she was sure that it would have gone away after a while but she was starting to see she was wrong and she didn’t know how she was going to deal with it.  
Several chocolates, teas, and beers later Relena was ready to return home. Not that she didn’t enjoy his company but she had a dog to feed. They were just about to cross the street when the sound of two very loud, very distinctive pops erupted behind them. Relena’s ears started ringing, it was that loud and that close. She knew something terrible had happened. She could tell from the panic screams which had followed. She wasn’t prepared to deal with this, not here, not today.   
She felt two strong arms grab her shoulders and when she looked up she saw Trowa’s face inches from her own his usually calm expression was contorted in worry and fear. She had to snap out of it, if not for herself for him. So he could be safe. He was talking to her, calling her name. He was concerned but she was afraid. She could feel her body tremble and her heart race. Despite all her training she was useless. To him and herself.  
________________________________________  
The flame glowed a beautiful bright orange add to that the soft crackle of burning wood and it was soothing. Relena sat in front of the fireplace and admired the fire her knees pulled into her chest, with her arms folded on top. She’d had another episode. Her therapist had told her it was PTSD. PTSD. Relena repeated the acronym in her mind. She thought she’d had it under control, actually, she’d thought she had it beat altogether. Who would have thought a car backfiring could undo so much progress.  
Relena sighed and rested her forehead on her knees. Even though she knew this was something people dealt with every day, a real illness, she still felt alone in her problem. The feeling of debilitating fear, to be so stricken by panic and anxiety that her entire body stopped functioning. She wanted it to stop, wanted to be better, wanted to stop feeling like a failure.   
Relena lifted her head when she heard Trowa stand beside her. He handed her a large mug of coffee before taking his seat in front of the fire.   
“Sorry, about earlier, I-.”  
“No need, you want to talk about it?”  
Relena wasn’t sure she did and it must have shown.  
“Might help.”  
“Remember when I said I was working at being a preventer? Partially true. I am a preventer, just not at the moment, for obvious reasons.”  
Relena put the mug down beside her and hugged her feet. “My partner was shot. She died.”  
“I’m sorry.”  
Relena smiled. It was the first thing people said. It was a reflex.   
“Yeah, shouldn’t even have been there. Wasn’t our call. Preventers don’t handle domestic disputes but Kelly didn’t care. I guess she’d spent one too many nights listening to her neighbours fight and decided she’d had enough. I think it was the kid that really got to her. The little boy was only six and she used to talk about him all the time. How it wasn’t fair to him. How she wished she could help.”  
Relena didn’t need to look at Trowa to know how he was looking at her because she could feel it. Still, she hazard a glance and the concern she saw in his eyes seemed genuine, not just someone who wanted to hear a juicy story. He cared.   
“Anyway, she must have been in the house before because she ran into it and disappeared. I was checking every room and it took me so long to find them. I could hear them talking, muffled at first but then it became clearer as I got closer.”   
Relena let the memory of that day surface although it was never far. For a long time, she’d been angry at Kelly, then she was angry at herself until her anger transferred to the father. But as she learned in therapy all the anger in the world wasn’t going to change anything. Months after the fact though, she still had to restrain the bitterness.   
“The dad had a gun, and he shot her.” Relena shook her head at the simplistic way she recounted the events. “He didn’t just shoot Kelly; he was aiming for his own child. A child Kelly wanted desperately to save. The mother had run, had saved herself when things got violent and left the boy to face his father’s wrath alone. Even as she laid bleeding, she kept asking if the boy was alright.”   
Relena closed her eyes. She recognised the signs all too well. The pain deep in her throat and sting at the corner of her eyes and her uneven breaths. She had cried enough.  
When she reopened her eyes she was filled with a remarkable sense of pride. She had done it. She had actually talked about it to a person that wasn’t her therapist. Relena sighed in relief. Whether or not this would help in her recovery was left to be seen but in that moment she felt good. When she finally looked at Trowa he seemed deep in his own thoughts and she was fine leaving him there. She didn’t need to have the situation picked apart or fed any more cliché lines and she was grateful he wasn’t attempting to do either.   
He did, however rise from his seated position and at first Relena thought he was going back to the kitchen but he wasn’t. He took a few steps in her direction before he lowered himself behind her, eased her head away from her knees and into his chest.   
________________________________________


	6. It's hard to Tell

"So, you spent another night alone with him, in front of a fire, with wine—and still nothing happened?" There was a pause as Hilde let the words sink in. "Where did I go wrong with you?"

Relena stooped next to Millie as her four-legged best friend inhaled the chow she'd just poured. "I don't know."

"You know you won't be out there forever. Earth is a big place and when you add the colonies to that you have the perfect example of a needle in a haystack."

Sliding her feet from underneath her, Relena sat on the floor as she considered Hilde's words.

"Do you really want to spend the rest of your life wondering about the cute neighbour's life skills?"

"Life skills?" Relena asked.

"You don't think sex is a life skill? It's right up there next to cooking."

"Ok, but not everyone can cook."

"And those people look for partners who can. So you see, you've got one box checked already."

Relena couldn't help but laugh at that. "True."

"So?"

"So, what? What am I supposed to say? Hey, want to have sex before we leave the mountains?"

Hilde laughed. "Just make sure you're wearing something see-through when you do."  
________________________________________  
Relena didn't bother to tell Hilde about the day she had planned. It was bad enough she had to endure this morning's conversation any more leaked details would be dousing Hilde's flames with gasoline.

Somewhere between comforting her and making her laugh Trowa had suggested ice skating, said it would be fun.

Fun was not the operative word. Fun was hardly how she'd describe watching him twirl and spin on ice in dark grey skinny jeans, and navy sweater while she just glided leisurely in army green cargo pants and white shirt. Her best skill? Avoiding other people with elegance, which was rendered even less impressive by the fact that the crowd wasn't that much of a crowd. It was late evening and the majority of people had already left or were in the process of leaving and the size of the rink made it more than comfortable for the number of people present.

Her pace was slow as she moved around the rink, eyes plastered on the lean but obviously agile man that was now unknowingly the center of attention. Relena smiled as she watched him. He was in his own world totally oblivious to his audience, almost in a trance, dancing and pirouetting to whatever music that was playing in his head. His eyes were closed as if he was trying to recall a routine from memory. If he was having any trouble, it didn't show.

Another twirl and he was facing her, eyes now opened they moved from face to face and she knew he was looking for her, or she hoped.  
Confirmation came when their eyes connected, he smiled and began skating toward her. As he approached, he extended a hand to her, a hand she willingly accepted.

"Were you a figure skating Olympian in your past life?"

She shouldn't have been surprised when he raised their joined hands and spun her, but she was caught totally off guard when he dipped her. She held him for dear life which he seemed to find amusing. She was relieved when he set her back on her feet, but that relief was short-lived when she found herself in an even more distressing position.  
When he righted her, her eyes found his mouth, it was hard not to because of the height difference. His lips were no longer curved in a smile. Set in a straight line, they were a pale hue of pink not cracked or tight from the cold. Remarkably smooth and firm and….

A muscle in his arm flexed and it was just enough to disrupt her errant thoughts. Only then did she realize she was still holding him, a little too tightly considering they were standing still. It also made her appreciate the firmness under her fingertips. The urge to squeeze was strong.

Maybe being spun had shaken loose some of her inhibitions because she made no move to release him only to further inspect him. Her gaze lifted from his mouth to his philtrum which she had to resist tracing with a finger, up his thin nose before being caught by green spheres.  
Unreadable green spheres. His expression was neutral, like a painting just standing still to be appreciated. And she wanted to get the full view.

Tentatively, in a small plea for permission, her hand moved to touch the bang which hung loosely over his face. Just the tip at first, then higher until she raked her hand fully through.

Then it froze in midair.  
Did she just do that?  
She pushed away, but there was momentary resistance from his hands around her waist which meant she didn't get as far as she'd like. Not even an arm's length. But she was free from his embrace as he was hers.

She could feel his stare and decided it best not to return it. Apologizing was the first thing that came to mind but that seemed pointless since she was sure she wasn't sorry. Then there was that little thing of possibly offending him, which would be the opposite of what she wanted to do.  
This was all Hilde's fault. Thanks to her less than helpful suggestions she was now battling hormones on top of everything else. Especially at a time when she needed to be in control. She didn't want a quick and easy fix to her problems. Something which her therapist had warned her against several times whether it was drinking or sex.  
"My mother was an acrobat, with the circus. I must have inherited some of that."

Relena looked up to see Trowa gesturing with his hands to continue skating.  
She followed, this time without his help. The term too good to be true flashed in her thoughts more than once when it came to him. He was eerily in tuned to what she was thinking or maybe she was giving him too much credit. Maybe she was just that transparent.  
She wondered just how much he was picking up from her and how much she was telegraphing. Meanwhile, he was unreadable. She never quite knew what he was thinking. If he was upset or annoyed at her actions he didn't show it.

He restarted the conversation as if totally unaffected. He was either thoughtful and wanted to put her at ease or he was the world's biggest douche and didn't care either way. She had no evidence to the latter and she was sure that sentiment was just human nature, to try to find something wrong with a perfectly good person, rearing its head.  
"Like Cirque?"  
He grinned. "But better."  
"That explains your athleticism but not how it translates to ice."  
"It just kinda happened. Just one of those things you're good at without explanation I guess."  
"I've never experienced that." Her low pitch coupled with the tight-lipped way she spoke made it impossible for her not to sound bitter. He just laughed.  
________________________________________  
After a few more laps Trowa decided it was time to warm up at a nearby cafe. As they sat, her squeezing her cappuccino mug tight to transfer heat to her fingers and him sipping his espresso, she had attempted to apologise for earlier despite his attempts at steering them away from awkwardness she felt compelled to talk about it. Thank therapy for her new found skill at communication and her awareness of anything resembling avoidance.

Naturally, he was gracious in his acceptance, no doubt recognizing that it was as much for him as it was for her. She needed to apologize for her own sanity.  
As time ticked on they decided not to go back to the skating rink, not that she was disappointed. Her body was now fully warm thanks to her three cups of coffee and the heated interior of the shop which was serenely quiet. Absent was the usual hum of conversation when people were gathered. Everyone wanted to respect the silence, it seemed almost reverent. If they spoke it was a whisper.

"Ready?" Trowa asked the question but since he was already taking out his wallet Relena figured it was just a courtesy.  
"Sure."  
They collected their things and started to the door when a loud crash sounded from somewhere in the back, quickly followed by muffled arguing and what sounded suspiciously like swearing. It startled her, and she looked over her shoulder to find the source.

When she turned around she was acutely aware of Trowa watching her every move. His face for once betrayed a hint of emotion which she recognized as concern. She was touched and irritated, hating the fact that people had to hold their breaths around her. Anyone in the situation would have turned at the noise but with her, it took on a different meaning. Relena battled against the feeling she would hate to snap at him for being worried about her. So, she willed a smile and assured him she was fine. He nodded and thankfully, unlike other people, didn't second guess her.  
"Besides I live in a big city, loud noises are a way of life, can't hide forever." She added.  
"Which city?"  
"Brussels."  
Another nod from him, nothing more.  
She found it amazing how after all the conversations they'd had they never once discussed where they were from and she couldn't decide if that was a good thing or not.  
"What about you?"  
"L3."  
"A colonist, hmm. You're definitely putting distance between yourself and whatever it is you're trying to escape from."

For a moment he looked puzzled, then his lips turned up at the side when it clicked. "I don't think there's enough space in the earth's sphere."  
That was more cryptic than what she was used to from him. But then what was she used to. Thinking back, it was obvious that where information was concerned she was the one sharing most of it. He knew about her family, what they did, what she did. He knew more than one of her secrets. What did she really know? He cooked and skated, had a sister and a really flexible mother. Essentially nothing.

It was unnerving. True she was emotionally off-kilter but to reveal her entire life to a stranger, without much prodding on his part, made her feel like a green cadet just out the academy floundering in an investigation revealing more than she was collecting. Her professional skills had decided to take a vacation much the same time she did but if she wanted to assure her peers and superiors that she was fit for duty she'd have to locate them and fast.

"You OK?"  
"Just trying to imagine what would make you run clear across the universe to escape."  
Any illusions that he'd share his life story after that statement were quickly dismissed when he shrugged his shoulders and asked how soon she thought she'd be returning to work. A question she wasn't in a hurry to answer all things considered. And the fact that she wasn't exactly sure herself.  
"Don't rush things. You've got nothing to prove to anyone."  
"And you know this by experience?"  
Relena hadn't registered the sarcasm or the contempt in her voice but the faint look of shock he gave her told her it must have been present. Her shoulders sagged when she sighed. "I didn't mean …."  
"Not first hand." He interrupted. "But I've watched people struggle with PTSD and other demons."  
Eyebrows raised, she waited for him to continue.  
"Vets."

Relena felt the weight of that one word.  
The war. It had left its scars around the ESUN. She hadn't suffered directly but she knew a lot of people who had. Some personally and others just by general understanding. It was a given in war. Someone, somewhere was suffering or had suffered because of it. Though as silly as it was she was hesitant to compare what she went through to that of a war veteran.  
She had been lost in thought for several seconds when she heard him hum beside her. Not a song, just a quick noise, the kind people make when they're thinking. She looked at him which, as usual, caused him to look at her.  
He was smiling, and she was all the more curious as to where his thoughts had taken him. He held her eyes a little longer and when he looked away she knew it was an unspoken instruction to follow his gaze.  
Across the street was a diner. Ranch style, with faux windows and a single glass door though she couldn't see in since the windows were frosted but glowing gold from the lights inside.  
Certainly nothing peculiar, nothing 'hmm' worthy.  
"What?" She asked.  
"I was about to suggest dinner when I remembered you promised to cook next time." His eyes descended upon her with nothing short of pure mischief.  
"I don't remember that."  
"Hmm, really." Trowa pushed his hands into his front pockets and rocked back on his heel. "I could've sworn."  
"Nice try." She grabbed his hand and tugged him toward the restaurant.  
________________________________________  
The closer they got to her house the louder Hilde's voice became. Relena had absentmindedly rubbed a hand over her temple more than once to dislodge her friend's voice but so far it hadn't worked.  
It did, however, get Trowa's attention. He squinted worried eyes at her and asked if she was feeling alright.  
Her mouth twisted to the side. A moment of mischief crept over her and she answered No, I'm being pressured into having sex with you by my friend who's a nympho. Of course, that response was trapped in her head. Out loud she confirmed she was fine.

He didn't say anything, and she could only guess that it was due to the fact that he didn't believe her, but he didn't press and she didn't elaborate.  
Relena leaned her head against the glass and tried to think of anything that wasn't Trowa Barton. She commissioned all her senses. Outside there wasn't much to see, nothing she hadn't seen before. Inside the truck smelled of pine and logs and she wondered if he'd been hauling wood for the fireplace. And just like that, her thoughts were back to him. She decided to just go with it.  
When she had agreed to go skating she had imagined train rides and coaches. She hadn't expected to see him sitting in the driver's side of a white pickup. But that was the sight that greeted her when she hopped down the front steps that evening. Oddly enough she couldn't remember hearing any vehicles pass her home in the hours prior.  
The passenger window fogged in small circles as her breath tickled the glass and she couldn't resist running a finger through the condensation. It was just one of those things life demanded.

'Maybe the reason he had the truck was that he was packing up to leave.' Her mind was hell-bent on not finding another topic to dwell on. This thought, however, was one she wanted to explore. "When are you going back to l3?"  
"I'm not, not anytime soon."  
"Where do you live when you're not hiding from everything?"  
The truck slowed at first, she assumed it was just to avoid something but then they were at a complete stop and he had turned in his seat to face her fully.  
"Worried you won't see me again."

That annoying intuitiveness. Or her annoying transparency. She didn't know which she hated more or who she hated more. Probably him, no definitely him. It was an innocent question that he just had to ruin and hit the nail on the head while doing it. How was she supposed to answer that? Be honest and all but tell him how she felt or lie? The only consolation was the fact that the truck was dark. The headlights were still on, but they created only soft glow inside the truck which she hoped would help shield some of her confusion from view.

Deal with situations head-on. Her time and not to mention money in therapy would be wasted if she couldn't apply to her life. "I'd be lying if I said that didn't occur to me."  
Trowa's movement was quick, so quick she didn't have time to react or withdraw before his chilled hands were resting on both her cheeks. She gasped, and she knew he heard it since his nose was practically glued to hers.

"That isn't something you'll to have to worry about."


	7. A mid vacation night's dream

Relena closed the distance between them. Her lips exploring his in an intense attraction she no longer wanted to deny. The seats squeaked as they maneuvered and twisted to get closer to each other and she was warmed by Trowa's moan of pleasure. He grabbed her by the waist and guided her onto his lap. Her body cooperated without hesitation and even as they continued to kiss her hips bucked against him eliciting a deeper more visceral moan from him. One of his hands pressed firmly on firmly against her ass gluing her pelvis to his while the other caressed the nape of her neck. Their position gave him easy access to her neck which he took willingly, almost hungrily. She never realised her neck was such an erogenous zone but she was shivering from the warmth of his lips mixed with the wetness of his tongue as he sucked and licked just beneath her earlobe.  
Relena's head rolled to the side, she was more than ready to see where the night would take them and she was going to follow where ever he led.  
She was settling into the rhythm they had set, it was shared control, not overpowering or a fight for dominance. Her mind was blank and her body completely languid against him.

His touch was confident but gentle with just the right amount of controlled aggression.  
Which is why she was so startled when he smacked her hard on her hip. Admittedly, after the initial shock had worn off, it had been a slight turn on. That was until he did it again and then again. Then it was just plain irritating.  
"Relena. Wake up."  
Another slap.  
Trowa's face faded and Hilde's voice became the dominant presence in her mind.

"Wake up."  
Relena yanked the covers off her head. Sleep had left her quickly when she realised that she was not only dreaming but being rudely interrupted. "What?"

"You told me to wake you remember. Said you wanted to go jogging." Hilde stood to the side of Relena's bed dressed in a headache-inducing green sports tank and long black tights, a small towel in hand, no doubt what she had used to assault her.  
Relena just stared at her then pulled the covers back over her head. She didn't want to remember. She wanted to go back to sleep. She wanted to dream. But Hilde wasn't going to leave her alone, that much she knew. So, she grumbled and swore as she sluggishly slid out of bed and headed to the bathroom.

Hilde spun to follow Relena with an obvious look of confusion on her face. "Are you seriously going to shower before we go running?"  
"Yes." Relena snapped and slammed the door. She needed a shower. It seemed ever since she got back from the mountains she needed more showers than usual.  
After her shower, Relena dressed quickly now eager to run off this feeling buzzing through her body. She crossed the living room and sat on the sofa to lace up her running shoes. An easy enough task since she had been doing it since she was five but oddly more difficult with Hilde's eyes glued to her head. "What?"

"Told you."  
Relena shook her head and stood. "Excuse me?"  
"Should've slept with him."  
________________________________________  
Running was exercise.  
Running and talking was exhausting.

It felt like she could never catch a breath and Relena really wondered if she had gotten this much out of shape or if this burning feeling of her lungs collapsing was normal. She decided it had to be the former since Hilde didn't seem to be affected and as it was, she was the one doing most of the talking. If she was suffering it wasn't obvious but then Relena was having a tough time looking at Hilde for any extended period of time. She had even gone as far as wearing all black in an attempt to offset the colour Hilde was wearing.

It was bright out, the air was still cool since it was just after seven but it was littered with wisps of warm air as the sun rose higher in the sky. It was always a toss-up when the best time to run was, she was torn between running at this hour for the cool and running later in the morning or even afternoon since she could work up more of a sweat with much less effort.  
They took the same route whenever they went out for a run. It was familiar and easy to get to since it was a trail just a block from home. Not that they ran often. It was more of a stress reliever used only when someone was upset or if they binged something unhealthy and felt guilty.  
Despite the energy she was dispelling, Relena couldn't stop her mind from drifting to thoughts of Trowa. It had been three days since she'd seen him or to be more precise three days since he left her. Not that she was bitter about it.  
Who was she kidding, of course she was bitter.

Not that he didn't say goodbye to her because from what she had learned about him he was far too much a gentleman no to. On the contrary, he said it then kissed her like he was never going to see her again. A needle in a haystack was how Hilde had described it and she had the sinking feeling that's what she was dealing with. And it was a little more painful than she felt was necessary considering she'd known him for all of two weeks.  
"I don't really feel like going but he's so cute when he pouts."

"Yea." Relena responded absentmindedly to the one part of Hilde's rambling she'd heard.  
"Uh huh. You haven't heard a word I said."  
Relena stopped running, leaned on her knees and tried to catch her breath. "Is it wrong for me to feel this way for someone I hardly know?"  
Hilde laughed. "You wouldn't be feeling this way if you'd done what I told you. It's not you that's mourning it's her." Hilde pointed south of Relena's stomach.  
"Just stop." Relena gave Hilde a gentle nudge. "Catch me."  
________________________________________  
"How much time do you have left." Hilde uncorked a bottle of water. Their session now over they had decided to rest in a nearby park.  
"Guess that depends on my meeting tomorrow." Relena admitted almost bitterly. It would be the first meeting with her doctor since she got back.  
"Looking forward to it?"  
"Nop."  
No one liked doctors and Relena was sure that even fewer people liked shrinks. It was hard having your life and decisions picked apart by anyone even someone you were paying. But she had added reasons to be nervous. She always felt like it was a test that she didn't want to fail. Everything she said or didn't say was scrutinised for hints and signs of instability. Sometimes she wondered if the entire exercise wasn't just a way to stop her from going back to work instead of helping her to return to duty.  
"You'll be fine, you seem pretty fine to me." Hilde gave her hand a soft squeeze of reassurance.  
"Thank you Dr. Schbeiker."  
________________________________________  
"Relena. Tell me, how was the trip?"  
Relena's eyes wandered about the office as they usually did on these visits. Why she didn't know, nothing changed. Maybe she just enjoyed the décor. On her first meeting, Relena had been pleasantly surprised by the bright colours. A vibrant blue sofa instead of the brown or beige, a bright red chair sat facing it and it hadn't been too hard to guess it was Dr. Allison's chair. The room itself was white with dark hardwoods and a white very fluffy and very soft, she'd checked, area rug in the middle of it all. Rounded all out with a splash of green in the form of two palms which stood erect in the corners.

Relena examined the face of the older woman in front of her. Her smile seemed genuine but Relena knew she hid a lot behind those eyes.  
"As expected. Quiet and relaxing."  
"Silence tends to elicit reflection and introspection."  
Relena smiled and nodded. This was true. Very true.  
"What did you learn about yourself amid all that silence."  
A simple enough question but filled with so much meaning from the lips of the skilled psychiatrist. Relena understood that the road to recovery started with being honest about where she was and how she felt about life and her problems but it was always a struggle when her first instinct was to be elusive. She was never big on emotional deluge even with close friends. Add the fact that her career was resting on the outcome of these conversations, she couldn't help but be guarded.

Maybe the reason she found it difficult was less about being scrutinised and more about the fact that she didn't know what she learned about herself. The time that she should have been working on her she had spent laughing and talking with a man that was now absent.  
Suddenly she felt like the entire trip was a huge waste of time.

"Something the matter?"  
Relena should know better than to hesitate in this office. "No, I was just gathering my thoughts."  
Dr. Allison just waited. She put her pen and pad down and gave Relena her full attention. Relena, despite hating the situation did actually like and admire the woman, once she removed her title and job description. She was mature, dark blonde hair with patches of grey at the temple and one grey coif at the front of her head which the good doctor had divulged was a fashion statement. A revelation which must have endeared her to many a patient, herself included.

"My first few nights there I dreamt about her." This was no revelation since Relena had called her the morning after the first night it happened, and they had talked extensively. Apparently being alone and secluded while dreaming about deceased friends was a cause for concern for doctors. She didn't see the humour in it at the time but afterward, she did have a laugh or two at the idea that her doctor had maybe believed she would harm herself.  
"I- need to offer myself forgiveness. I think I'm haunted by my own guilt more than anything."  
"That's quite the observation."

Relena always knew when she had said something profound. Dr. Allison would get just a bit perkier and excited.  
"Do you think you should have been able to save her?"  
"I think that's the logical assumption by anyone in that position."  
"We aren't talking about anyone, we're talking about you."

Relena wanted to roll her eyes but rule number one that had been laid down when she had first started was that generalisations were a no-no. Something about them not allowing people to take responsibility and providing a way for people to hide amongst the crowd.  
"I do- wonder- if there was something that we could have done differently. Something- I could've done to change the outcome. But I realize the outcome can't change now no matter how I try to rewrite it."  
________________________________________  
"What are you doing?"  
Relena didn't need to be able to see behind Milliardo's dark sunglasses to know he was scowling at her. He hated his music changed, and she hated his music which always created a special dynamic whenever they drove together in his car.  
"Your music is garbage."

"Then you should have driven yourself."  
Relena ignored her brother easily. She'd had years of practice after all, and focused solely on the act of skipping through his tracks.  
They were going home for their Sunday brunch ritual. Their family was close-knit, a blessing and a curse in its own right. She loved the togetherness and happiness they brought but that usually came accompanied by nagging and overbearing tendencies which as her brother told her was her birth rite as the youngest. His? To be devilishly handsome and wealthy. His words.

Contented with the new music blaring through the speakers Relena settled back into the beige leather seat, smoothing a few wrinkles from her white linen dress as she did. As if linen could help but be wrinkled. It was an exercise in futility. "When are you going to invite Lu to brunch?"  
Though she would never admit it Milliardo was devilishly handsome. His hair hand to be a gift from some Greek god what with its colour and length. He too was wearing white, a long-sleeved dress shirt with white dress pants. Seriously, she had tried to run back into the house to change when she realised their faux pas but Zechs, a name bestowed upon him during his jock days, and a name that she affectionately called him, to his utter annoyance, wasn't having it. The only hint of colour on him was the black sunglasses he wore to add what she could only assume was a hint of mystery.

"When you outgrow your annoying little sister phase."  
"Scared I'd embarrass you?"  
Milliardo tipped his glasses to his nose and glared at her, a look that clearly said yes before he righted them and returned his attention to the road.  
________________________________________  
They arrived just after eleven am and as usual Katrina Peacecraft stood in the doorway. It was a mystery just how long she would stand there in order to greet them. No way she just had such good timing and the house was too large to assume she heard the engine on its way up the driveway. However she did it, she was always there and Relena was always glad to see her.

Her mother rushed to greet them, beaming like she hadn't seen them in years even though it had only been a few days.  
With a squeal, her mother enveloped her in a vice grip and kissed her forehead. She pulled back and held Relena at arm's length for a bit and it was all Relena could do not to squirm. Satisfied, her mother then turned to Milliardo though it was much more difficult to envelop him. That minor detail did not deter her in the slightest. She gave both of them a quick once over, her hands on her hips while she examined her handy work.  
"What did I do to deserve such beautiful children?"  
"Do you really need us to answer that?"

Katrina gave a strained gasp at her son's none to subtle remark and she swatted his shoulder though it was clear that she had found his question more amusing than offensive.  
She led them into the house with light small talk and animated gestures which continued while she poured them drinks and served finger foods. Ever the society hostess. It was no use telling her they lived there and knew where everything was.  
Relena dared not interrupt she was glad that conversation was happening around her that had nothing to do with her and she would remain mute all evening if just to avoid it. Wishful thinking at its best, she knew it was only a matter of time before they would steer the conversation back to her until then she would enjoy peace.  
Max Peacecraft entered minutes later dressed as casually as one would expect from his highness. He was the king of their little castle with the presence to match. At home, he was bubbly and funny but outside of these four walls, he was a force that none reckoned with.  
With everyone present, they sat down to enjoy their meal and their family.  
________________________________________  
Lunch with her family had been nice. So nice she'd felt guilty for ever being apprehensive. She had expected to be bombarded with questions and suggestions well-intended but nonetheless upsetting but that fear had never materialised. The conversation remained light and jovial and she couldn't have been more grateful.  
"How many more days are we going to do this?" Relena huffed out as they ran along the trail for the second time in a week. This time though it wasn't early morning. It was hot and sticky and closer to lunch.

"We are doing this to release that pent-up tension you created in the mountains."  
Relena gave Hilde a small push. It should have been harmless but at their speed, it was more effective, and Hilde stumbled slightly.  
There was only one look shared between them, a look of friends who knew each other well with no explanation or words needed. Relena took off in a sprint with Hilde on her heels. Any and all exhaustion was forgotten as they indulged in childlike pursuit, laughing giggling and gasping for breath.  
Relena kept up as long as possible bobbing and weaving through objects and people to avoid the intermittent lunges from Hilde but the burn in her chest was getting unbearable.  
Relena spun around and raised her hands. "Truce."  
Hilde grabbed Relena by the arm. "No way."  
"Say you're sorry." Hilde wrapped a hand around Relena's waist, so her fingers could perform a dastardly dance on her ribs.  
"Stop!" Relena squirmed and struggled to get free.  
"Say it."  
"Alright, I'm sorry."  
With her surrender, Hilde released her and Relena fell to the ground taking deep breaths in an attempt to recover. Just behind her, she heard Hilde's footsteps followed by a breathy be right back and she desperately hoped that her friend would return with water.

Relena laid back on the grass with her arms outstretched, eyes closed and the sun beating down on her skin. At that moment she was happy or maybe it was just the release of some happy chemical which was the product of being tickled whatever it was, she enjoyed it.  
It was comparable to that feeling which lingered after sex. Funny, she laughed at herself. She was surprised she even remembered what that feeling was like but if the closest she had gotten to it was having her best friend tickle her in the park she was pathetic and she sorely regretted both figuratively and literally not taking Hilde's advice.  
A cloud passed overhead partially blocking her warm sunlight and casting a shadow over her body. She didn't know whether to be grateful for the respite or annoyed by the shade. God knows the tan might do her good she probably lost some color in those few weeks away.

The park made for the perfect backdrop for her little euphoria. Birds chirping, people chatting, children playing, bicycle bells and dogs. It was a symphony of life happening all around her and she relished in it. What better way to combat the sadness of death than to appreciate the beauty that was life.  
A soft rustle of grass underfoot alerted her to Hilde's return.  
"About time."  
"Waiting for me?"

Relena didn't move despite the overwhelming urge to do so. She stayed still totally and completely afraid to move, to look, to hope. If she didn't move she wouldn't have to face the disappointment of looking up to empty space. She strained her ears, listening and waiting for a confirmation that she had either imagined it or that she had actually heard it.  
"Why is it every time we meet you're on the ground."  
At that, Relena's eye flew open. Auburn hair and green eyes were stooped directly next to her.

"Trowa."  
________________________________________


	8. Three's a crowd

So many questions she had so many questions. Questions that she didn't know she could have answered with Hilde hovering. It was as if they'd just found a puppy the way Hilde was looking at him. If she could, she'd push him in her pocket and run.

"What brings you here to our humble city?"  
One question that Relena wanted to ask but Hilde beat her to it. She really should be grateful for Hilde's natural nosiness but she was slightly annoyed or jealous if not a little territorial. Did Hilde see her trying to interrogate her atheist priest of a boyfriend? No. Because really how could you be both at the same time.

"Business."  
Another one-word reply. Guess it wasn't just reserved for her. That was just Trowa's way. But Relena wasn't buying it. Business? Really? How convenient. She wanted to be skeptical, but she was also giddy. She had gone from accepting that she would never see him again to oh my god he's standing right in front of me, still handsome, still casual and confident in blue jeans and green sweater.

And somehow now they were standing in her apartment with Trowa being the perfect gentleman and answering all of Hilde's questions while keeping his eyes fully on Relena. For her part, she couldn't look away either. The smug little smirk on his face was far too sexy to miss but it made for an awkward dynamic. He was looking at her, she was looking at him and Hilde was looking back and forth between the two of them. The weird silence stretched a moment longer before Millie came bounding into the living room. A waft of the familiar scent meant he ran right up to Trowa's knee and sat and Trowa didn't disappoint him. He squatted in front of the dog and ruffled his fur. His eyes left hers for less than a second before they returned.

"Ok." Hilde exclaimed obviously having seen enough of the standoff. She whistled to Millie and brought the dog to her side. After giving the room and its occupants one last look she gracefully if not reluctantly excused herself.  
Relena waited, she wanted to hear the click from Hilde's door before she said anything but that tell-tale click of a door closing never came.  
What could Relena do but roll her eyes at her friend who was, of course, attempting to eavesdrop. The only other alternative was to take this conversation to her bedroom, at least they'd be assured some privacy but that was altogether a horrendously bad idea.

"This isn't the reception I was hoping for."  
Relena hesitated only briefly, sure there was an extra pair of ears to the conversation but it's not like she wasn't going to tell Hilde everything anyway.  
"Should I have run into your arms while calling your name over and over again until we were hugging and spinning around while a string orchestra played in the background."  
He was smirking but it wasn't the I found your quip funny kind. More of the I'm not going to be deterred by your reluctance kind.  
Relena, however, wasn't so easily moved. "What kind of reaction can I have? Why are you here?"

"Its like I said I'm working."  
"OK." Relena turned to walk away, her level of frustration was higher than she felt it should be all things considered. They weren't dating or involved, he really owed her nothing. If only life was that logical. She didn't know where she was going to retreat to and now trapped within the confines of her home she mentally reprimanded herself for not seeing how this venue wasn't an ideal reunion spot. At least in the park, she could run.  
"Wait." Trowa grabbed her upper arm. "This isn't going well. In my version of this, you didn't look like you were on the verge of asking me to leave."  
"Your version? Did you plan this in advance?"  
"Not running into you in the park, no. But meeting you again yes."

Relena turned out of his grasp and faced him fully. "In a city this large." It was meant to be a question but sounded more like a statement.  
"OK." He held up his hand defensively. "I may have looked you up."  
Finally, she was getting somewhere but she wasn't too thrilled with the direction.  
"I'm trying very hard not to feel like I'm being stalked."  
"You are," he said easily placing his hands in his pant pocket. " Just not to be captured and murdered in a basement." He added a winning smile for good measure.  
"This isn't funny. Tell me the truth." She was surprising even herself with her ability to stay focused in the face of such charming manliness.  
"I have." His eyes lost a bit of their twinkle, his tone was almost pleading and Relena felt a twinge of guilt for being this difficult but this was weeks in coming.  
"No, no, this," Relena pointed at him. "This is not truth this is evasion and one-word answers and not to mention a little suspicious."  
"I can admit I'm not the best at sharing." He sighed out loud but his smile returned. " Do over?"  
That smile, damn him. She shook her head at her own weakness. "You want to go back to the cabin?"  
"Yes."

If she had expected hesitation she would be been disappointed since his response almost cut off her last word.  
Now that it was out there she found the idea quite appealing.  
"But that wasn't what I meant."  
So much for that. Relena thought wryly.  
"Let's run into each other again, at dinner. And I promise to be more forthcoming."  
"Run into each other huh?"  
Trowa shrugged.  
Relena sighed. "Where should I just happen to show up?"  
"Around eight I'll take a wrong turn and accidentally end up outside your building."  
His inventive way of asking her out was making it difficult to say no or even to remain upset.  
She tugged a lock of her hair. "Ok."  
________________________________________  
It hadn't been five minutes after Trowa left when Hilde emerged from her hiding spot.  
"He is adorable."  
Relena turned her back to her, making her way to the kitchen she didn't have to look back to know Hilde would follow. Deets needed to be spilled.  
"How much didn't you hear?" Relena asked as she poured a glass of water.  
Hilde didn't miss a beat. " I don't think I missed anything. That entire conversation made me weak." Hilde plopped into one of the bar stools and cradled her chin in her hands. " Now I want to sleep with him. His eyes, that hair, that silky buttery I'm a gentleman but I'd do wicked things to you if you let me voice."  
Hilde and Relena stared at each for a second before bursting out in laughter.  
Relena shook her head. "Nasty."  
"And proud."  
________________________________________  
"You look beautiful."  
Trowa graced her with the compliment as soon as she stopped in front of him.  
"Thank you."

She didn't want to be superficial but if he hadn't said it she would've been bad company the rest of the night considering how long it took her to get ready. It was the social event of the year otherwise known as her first date in months.  
Hilde had helped and demanded that she make the extra effort. Her hair had been curled with some pinned up on top of her head with the rest cascading down her back. Her dress was the never worn special occasion dress that hung in the closet for something to come up but never did, new dress. It was a dark green almost black sequin that stopped mid-thigh, but it was long sleeved with no skin above the waist showing. So, she wasn't totally exposed. Didn't stop her from tugging at it occasionally which quickly reminded her why it had been never worn. To top everything off Hilde had gone above and beyond with the makeup, dark smoky eyes and a neutral lipstick. The last time Relena had been this well dressed she was graduating university. As she thought back, even that had been less dramatic.

Coming face to face with Trowa though, she was glad Hilde forced her into it. He was effortlessly handsome and a black tux with no tie and his shirt purposely untucked only added to it. It took special skill to make disheveled look high fashioned but here he was, fresh off the runway and in front of her building.  
Trowa took her hand and led her the rest of the way to his car taking the time to open the door for her before returning to the driver side.  
Don't be nervous, don't be nervous. Relena repeated in her head as she watched Trowa walk around the front of the car. He stopped just in front to take a call giving her a few more minutes to collect herself.

She looked down at her dress or rather her bare legs and wondered if maybe she didn't go overboard. It was short not 'I'm a shameless slut short but I can totally rock your world short.' Relena ran her hand over her face then berated herself for nearly ruining her makeup but Hilde's references and analogies were sending her crazy. Who thought up things like that? Her best friend.  
The driver side door opened and Relena tried to appear calm.  
"Ready?"  
"Yes."  
And she was except Trowa didn't move to start the car. He didn't move to do much of anything he watched her and even though her ego was enjoying the attention the shy part of her wished he'd stop.  
"Is it too much?"  
She cringed both inwardly and outwardly as she watched the little smile play on his lips. Why that question came out of her she'll never know. " Forget I asked."  
When he still didn't look away she felt compelled to explain. "I don't do this often."  
Trowa's expression was passive, mixed with something else. Not humor at her awkwardness, it wasn't pity either, it was something she chose not to identify. It was safer for her if she didn't.  
"Lucky me."

She'd met evasive Trowa, charming and funny Trowa but she wasn't ready for romantic Trowa. The way he spoke, the way he looked at her. She wasn't ready. Not at all. This car was too small, his cologne too musky and her hormones… Her mind drifted to thoughts of Millie and what he would be doing right this moment while she was trying not to die a miserable death. Because nothing tamed hormones like picturing cute dogs maybe she should go for picturing her brother. What he'd say if he knew about her date. The thought made her chuckle.  
"You ok?"  
Seems she was hell-bent on embarrassing herself all night. " I'm fine. Just peachy." She sank into the seat and stared out her window. She was just fine. Not.  
________________________________________  
The restaurant Trowa chose was definitely one of the finer ones she'd ever visited. It was warm and welcoming with rich deep colors in red and gold. The general restaurant was well lit, but they were able to create a much more toned down atmosphere around each table where the lighting was slightly dimmer. She'd been here only once before, she knew of the exclusivity and the wait list not to mention the prices. Unfortunately, it wasn't due to a date but her parents, namely their anniversary. A story she was not going to retell to anyone living so she tried to look as impressed and inquisitive as possible.

The waiter showed them to their table for the evening next to it was an ice bucket already filled with a bottle of champagne and bottle of sparkling water. Both of which the waiter opened and poured. He waited only a few moments to ensure they had everything they needed before leaving.  
"You've been here before?" Relena asked. The waiter seemed to be familiar with Trowa despite what she considered as Trowa's attempt to downplay any acquaintance.  
Trowa sat back in his seat. "Yes. I'm not completely new to the city."  
Miracle of miracles, he was true to his word of being less secretive.  
"So you lied."  
"No, you assumed."  
That was true. He didn't actually say he didn't know the city but then he didn't actually say much of anything.  
"Are you going to continue or will I have to formally interrogate you?"  
"Depends. Will handcuffs be involved?"

That stopped her cold.  
Either she was way out of practice in the dating arena or Trowa was the heavyweight champion of flirting. She wasn't the most forward and typically this type of conversation was something she tried to stay away from. Even in the dim lighting, she's sure her blush showed because Trowa was apologizing albeit not sincerely. Looked about ready to laugh at her expense more like it.  
She waved it off. "Don't be, like I said I don't do this often."  
Trowa nodded slowly with the slightest of quizzical expressions and she realized where his mind must have gone since her mind was going there too. If she didn't date it wasn't that far a leap to assume she didn't do other things.  
When she looked back at him he was grinning from behind a champagne flute and she was wishing it would spill just a little so they'd both have a reason to be embarrassed.  
Then she remembered. This wasn't about her spilling more information to him, this was about getting him to be forthcoming with her.  
"So your business in the city is?"

He took the flute away from his lips and gave a quick tilt with his head as if to say well played. That's how she interpreted it and she felt a tiny hoorah of triumph.  
He cleared his throat and sat the flute in front of him. "I work in the Colonnade building. It's…..."  
"I know what it is." She needed no introduction; the building got its name from its distinctive design and it was a building she drove by almost every day to get to work. "How…."  
She knew she wanted to ask a question, she just wasn't sure how to phrase it.  
"It was a recent change."  
"How recent?"  
"Few weeks."  
"Right."  
"Don't be overly suspicious my sister works there, has for almost two years but recent events meant I had to join the team here too."  
That did ease her concern. Clearly, he had ties to this place even before her and this was all just a happy coincidence. Why would he lie? If he wanted to harm her he had ample opportunity, with much less possibility of being caught.  
"Ok. I'm sorry I don't mean to be such a, well, preventer."  
"I'd be more concerned if this wasn't your reaction."  
Relena picked up the menu and forced herself to relax. "What are we having?"  
This was a man whose company she had enjoyed immensely, a change in scenery shouldn't change that.  
________________________________________  
The drive home was far less embarrassing than the drive to the restaurant. It was still marred with silence, but it was comfortable silence. She didn't need conversation since she was still very much enjoying the replay of their earlier one in her head.

He was exactly the same, just as funny and sweet. Though she didn't quite understand why that surprised her. Maybe she thought he was too good to be true, maybe she had expected a different person to emerge once the fairy tale setting had been replaced with the real world. She was glad, she'd been wrong.

She eyed his profile as he drove. Quiet confidence oozed from his every action and word. She found herself smiling not even bothering to hide when he caught her.  
Once parked, she felt a sense of déjà vu as she watched him walk around the front of the car to help her out before escorting her into the building.  
"Am I forgiven?" He asked.  
"There's nothing to forgive."  
"So, does that mean I'm officially off the watch list."  
Relena shrugged. "I think it would depend on the watch list, don't you?"  
That earned her a very rewarding laugh from her companion. "I agree."

If she didn't know better, she would've sworn that she saw a slight stain on his cheek. But before she could confirm he had announced their arrival at her door and she unconsciously turned around as if to check it was true.  
"This doesn't have to be awkward." She blurted out unceremoniously.  
Trowa raised a brow in question.  
"You know like on television. Let's just skip that. Thanks for putting up with me and my questions. I hope I didn't offend you."  
"Not at all."

She was about to respond when she heard a crash from behind her door, followed by a bark and what sounded like muffled swearing.  
Trowa leaned ever so slightly to his side to peer at the closed door. "Should I ask?"  
"I'm almost afraid to know." She shook her head. There was sure to be a host of reasons and explanations for what they just heard, all of which were going to be hilarious. "Well good night."  
He nodded in response. "Good night."  
________________________________________


	9. Two peas in a pod

"You know, you could just hand in your badge and join a monastery." Hilde wasn't letting up, she'd been making comments like that all morning.

Relena held her coffee cup letting the warmth seep through both hands. It was a little after eight and they were in the kitchen contemplating what to have for breakfast.  
"At least then you'd have a valid reason for not using it." Hilde continued while eyeing the pots and pans for an idea to jump out at her.

Relena just sat and stared into her coffee while her mother berated her yet again for not doing the bad thing.  
Hilde turned to face her with both hands plastered on the counter. "I get that Trowa is a gentleman, but this is a little ridiculous. Maybe I should pull back out my gaydar."  
"He's not gay." Relena grumbled.  
"Then, he's just not that into you?"

Relena smiled at the reference before an unsettling feeling gnawed at her. What if he wasn't. She looked up at Hilde wide-eyed. "Is this what the friend-zone feels like?"  
"I wouldn't know."  
"Thank you, Hilde, you're my crutch."  
"Maybe there's something I can do."  
Oh no, Hilde was having ideas.  
"When you were on vacation you were alone in unfamiliar territory. But now you have back up." Hilde smiled. "Me. Now I get to intervene on your behalf."  
"No thanks."

"So." Hilde continued as if she didn't hear. "We just have to come up with an irresistible scenario."  
"You mean more irresistible than dinner, or maybe you mean more romantic than a fireplace?"  
"Well, I was trying not to bring that up and rub your face in how your handsome soon to be but doesn't know it yet boyfriend hasn't touched you despite the hundred opportunities he's had, but now that you mention it."

Relena face planted on the counter. "I'm listening."  
"Thank you." Hilde chirped. "But there's one thing I just don't get."  
Relena looked up. "What?"  
"Why don't you just make the first move, this isn't 1950?"  
Relena squinted her eyes then laid her head back on the counter. "That's so not me."  
"You need to get comfortable with your sexuality. That's your biggest flaw."  
Not acknowledging the last accusation Relena pushed away from the counter and pulled out a silver bowl and filled it with kibble. No need for Millie to starve just because they were. She gave the dog a quick scratch before slumping back into her seat and resuming her previously pathetic sulking position.  
"Maybe you can invite him here for dinner?"

"And," Relena drawled. "do what? Cook for him?"  
Hilde shook her head. "You're right if you weren't thoroughly friend zoned before that just might do it."  
That made them both laugh. Relena was about to defend her honour when the buzzer rang.  
Hilde looked at the door. "You expecting someone?"  
"Nop, I gather you aren't either."  
Hilde shook her head.

Unexpected guests were severely frowned upon by both of them but the voice was a friendly one.  
Hilde went to the door once their visitor was upstairs and she returned and announced. "Relena, your brother's here."  
As if they weren't aware of that before.

"Hi, Zechs." Relena beamed as she watched her brother stroll into the apartment in a long grey trench, white dress shirt and matching grey pants. She couldn't help but smile at the look on his face which was always a mixture of him struggling to appear neutral and disapproval. Her brother enjoyed the finer things in life, a fact she always teased him about, but she didn't quite inherit his love of all things expensive.  
She knew that somehow it was due to the fact that she wasn't born into it like he was. Even though they never treated her differently it was always tucked into the back of her mind. Her parents spoiled her rotten, they'd paid for the best of everything for both their children. She never objected to their generosity, but she never asked. She never had to, she realised pretty early on that they didn't wait for her to need anything. Now as an adult she could put a name to it. Overcompensating. They didn't want her to feel out of place, if Milliardo got something she got something, sometimes even nicer.

When it came time to move out it was no different. If left up to them she'd be living in a five thousand square foot penthouse suite with a twenty-four hour doorman, pool, gym, and a helipad just in case she ever needed it. She'd refused and had to put up quite the fight to get them to agree. A fight she somewhat lost since they haven't yet fully agreed but they've accepted her decision the best they could.

"I've asked you not to call me that."  
Millie came around to sniff the bottom of Zechs' coat which earned him an impatient glare.  
Milliardo was not a dog person. Cats he loved, go figure.  
"Yes, several times."  
"What brings you by Zechs?" Hilde too loved to goad her brother even more than she did.  
"I had the dumb idea of inviting my sister to breakfast, now I'm not so sure." He finished with a pointed look in Relena's direction.  
"Your sister? What about me? Or should I just sit here and starve?"  
"How is that my problem?"

The two did this every time. There was a time Relena thought they liked each other but she quickly realised it was just friendly banter.  
"I get it. You're grumpy because your parents weren't satisfied with you and had to go out and get something better. But don't you think it's time you got over it?"  
Relena covered her face with her hands. The topic of her adoption wasn't a secret in her circle and no one shied away from it which made it a whole lot easier in her opinion. She never felt like there was an elephant in the room.

"I get that you would understand how that feels considering how your last relationship ended. Maybe you should coach me on how to," Zechs made quotation marks with his fingers. "Get over it."  
Ouch.

Relena waited for a comeback but none came. She almost didn't want to look at Hilde out of fear that that comment was just a bit too snarky.  
"Unbelievable," Hilde exclaimed. "I don't have a comeback. What the…."  
"Don't worry I'm sure that happens whenever you're faced with someone of superior intellect. Which for you is quite often."  
Damn. Zechs was on a roll.  
Relena jumped in. "Ok, so where are we going?"  
"Nowhere, not until I find a comeback to hurl at his face."  
Zechs chuckled. "Fine, guess you'll be starving today."

Hilde grumbled something none of them could understand and marched to her bedroom. Relena did the same.  
________________________________________  
Bacon, eggs, pancakes, quiche, you name it they ate it. Hilde for her part was devouring everything in sight. She swore if she couldn't insult him she was going to make him spend a fortune.  
After they'd eaten they sat for a while and chatted easily. "Thanks for breakfast Zechs. Milliardo." Relena quickly corrected.  
He simply nodded and took a sip from his cup.  
"I hear you're still trying to convince your secretary your worthy of her time." Hilde just couldn't leave well enough alone.  
Milliardo raised a brow to Relena which she answered with a shrug. "Women talk."  
"Yup we do, so if you sleep with Noin and last three seconds don't bother showing up to work for the rest of the year." Hilde pumped her fist in triumph. "I'm back baby."  
"Don't celebrate yet." Zechs sat back in his chair. "The bill hasn't been paid."

Relena was dying.  
"What's new at work?" He turned his attention to Relena and every face became somber.  
"I have to meet with commander Une to hear her verdict. I'll let you know how it goes."  
"Hey Zechs, you're a man right?"  
Relena could kiss Hilde, she didn't even care what insult was about to come out of her friend's mouth, she was just glad to have the topic changed.  
"Or is the jury still out on that?" Hilde giggled. "How'd you like my court reference?"  
"I'm stunned at your use of a word with more than one syllable."

Yeah. Life was good.  
"What would a woman have to do to get you to sleep with her?"  
Life was hell.

Relena shook her head at Hilde to stop but Hilde kept at it. "I mean, what would put you in the mood."  
Zechs looked thoroughly disturbed, not only did he probably see Hilde as a little sister, but she was sure he did not want to talk about this with his actual sister.  
"It would be hard for you to grasp Hilde, you'd first need to have sex appeal."  
"Meaning?"  
"How's work Milliardo, any interesting cases?" Relena needed to change the course of this conversation. Zechs turned to her with a look of the cat that caught the canary and she knew he had something to share but before he could, his phone rang and he excused himself.

"What is wrong with you?" She whisper yelled at Hilde.  
"You should get a guy's perspective." Hilde explained  
"A guy, not my brother."  
"Why not? Siblings talk about this stuff all the time."  
"Not these two."  
"This is part of your journey to get comfortable with your sexuality. Maybe if you talked about it more you'd do it more."  
"That makes no sense." Relena shushed Hilde's response when she spotted Zechs returning to the table.  
"Sorry, I have to go." He leaned over and kissed Relena on the cheek, then did the same to Hilde.  
"We don't care. Just pay the bill." Hilde managed to get out before her lips touched his cheek.  
They watched Zechs leave, waving at his back like two toddlers.  
Hilde smile conspiratorially. "Thank god for small mercies."  
"Shut up."


End file.
